THANK YOU.

      I bought both of my parents the obligatory college T-shirt for Christmas last year. This morning, I asked my dad whatever happened to the one I bought for my mom, and tonight I found it neatly folded on my bed.
She never got to wear it.

©Krista Carpenetti

      I pulled it on to find that it fit me perfectly, so now I have yet another way to stay connected with her here on earth.

      I feel like every moment I spend without her, the farther apart we become. I feel like she's fading from me, and I can't grasp her any tighter. I depicted this by using a flash combined with a long shutter speed to make the shirt translucent. I also did not crop the photo to show how small I feel sometimes. I'm surrounded by clutter and craziness and nothing makes any sense, and I just fade right into it, unable to separate myself and pick myself up.  The shadow from my chest down is another faded version of myself doubled over with my hands on my face. This represents the side of me that few people see anymore. It can burst out at the most awkward of times, and it's moments like these that I am grateful for understanding friends.
     That being said, all of those words you see written on my walls, the words I'm melting into, are words written by people I love. There are inside jokes, "I love you"s, Bible verses, and plenty of memories scribbled on all four walls in my beloved bedroom. If it wasn't for people like them, I wouldn't be functioning right now.

Without further ado, I'd like to extend a huge

t h a n k   y o u

to everyone who has embraced me, held me up when my knees gave out, dried my tears, sat with me in silence, let me cry on their shoulders until their arms fell asleep, told me I'll be okay, prayed for me, reminisced with me about her, bought me chocolate, told me stories until I fell asleep, cuddled with me, sent me thoughtful letters/texts/Facebook messages/blog comments, took pictures with me, bought me colorful balloons and cake for a surprise early birthday party, listened to me blubber, empathized with me, sat in my car with me late at night while I cried my heart out and calmed me down with the most loving words I've ever heard, brought me homemade muffins, wrote "I ♥ Krista" on the window behind me then ran, let me borrow treasured stuffed animals, sent me surprise presents in the mail, ran from who-knows-where just to deliver a much-needed hug, stayed up with me until the wee hours of the morning, let me curl up in their beds while they do homework just so I could have some company, and gently kissed me on the forehead. 

I remember all of you and everything you did for me, and I will never ever forget. I am forever grateful for every ounce of healing power you bestowed upon me, and I would never have made it without each of you. I love you.