Shame on me.

     I was scrolling through the most recent posts dealing with my intense emotions about the loss of my dear mother, and I realized that in every single photo, and every word I wrote about them, I failed to represent the one thing that actually kept me on solid ground throughout this entire chapter in my life.
                     G o d .
     I have loved Him as long as I can remember. My mother told me all about Him when I was four years old, and on that same day I accepted Him as best I could with my new and naïve mind. When I was eleven, I was baptized at my own will, having a better understanding of how awesome His power in my life really was. Years passed, and my relationship with Him only grew stronger. He has led me through joyous and unbearable times alike, and today He leads me through the darkest, most painful, confusing, sickening time in my small amount of years. Despite all of those adjectives I just used, I am still as madly in love with the Lord as I was in the midst of my happiest days. Nothing, I mean literally nothing, can shake my love and trust in Him, and what I always thought has now been proven to the extreme.
     In dedication to this unconditionally loving Heavenly Father, I am posting this picture of a wooden cross that was in my mother's hands at her viewing along with my trusty and much-loved Bible. They both mean a great deal to me, and what/who they represent will always keep me feeling warm, strong, and more loved than ever before.

What a way to keep track of my emotions.

I sat at my laptop editing this photo, and before I was halfway done with it, I just started crying and couldn't stop for hours. I sat on the same couch until 9 in the morning, thinking about that card from my mom and looking at this picture of her resting in eternal peace. Honestly I don't know how to handle myself anymore. My heart physically hurts, sometimes to the point where I can't even walk. I have an 8am class tomorrow, the first I would have to attend since coming back to RIT... but I don't even know if I can do this. I was doing somewhat okay until I gazed at this photo and opened that card last night...

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I got a card in the mail today.

"Dear Krista,

Hope you are doing well and your classes are going well for you ... I miss you and love you so much.

God bless,

Mommy ☺"

I guess the mail was backed up or something. Needless to say, I had a breakdown.

I love you too, mommy. Thanks for thinking of me. ♥

Love,

Krista May

Like mother, like daughter.

People have always told me I look just like my mother.

That is the biggest compliment I could ever receive.

Sometimes a beautiful picture, a friend's warm hoodie and a puppy are all you need to get through the night.

R.I.P. Mommy. ♥ 5|7|63 ~ 1|11|11 ♥

I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I lost my mother, and my best friend. I lost confidence, innocence, warm fuzzy hugs and dances around the kitchen floor. I lost a piece of my smile, a piece of my heart, a piece of my spirit; I lost a piece of myself.

The worst part is I never saw it coming.

1|11|11 @ 11:11

These are some samples from my first studio encounter.

Good morning, RIT.

BUY THIS PRODUCT.

Happy New Year!

There were multiple fireworks displays happening in the valley down behind my house at midnight on New Year's, and of course I rushed to get my camera. The purple and red explosions lit up the dry forest in my yard, as well as the beautiful clear and starry sky. I took advantage of both of these spectacles and framed my sister Kayla on the side for added interest.